Most of you reading this are in your 60’s or
older. Most of you have been married…like, forever! So, you may be
wondering: Why is Max writing to this audience about marriage? Good
question. Most of you who have been married ‘forever’ have an
extended family, in which you have considerable influence. Myself, I
have 9 brothers and sisters and my wife Sandy has three. Together we
have approximately 100 nephews, nieces, great-nephews & nieces,
etc. Like us, you have more influence over many young adults that
you realize. So…maybe this devotional will arm you with information
to encourage young people to do marriage with excellence.
Having been a Minister to Young Singles I know
that about 95% of young singles have as a major goal to be happily
married. During those 14 years I saw 352 married out of my
group. Regardless of the previous marital status of those getting
married I saw an almost universal belief that love will conquer
all and that they don’t need to worry about learning to
communicate or how to negotiate differences or how to
set marital goals. Most believe that marital bliss will
just happen!
Other than an eternal relationship with God,
the most critical thing that people do is the thing for which they
get the least amount of training and take the least amount of
advice. That is, marriage! If you want to be a plumber, an engineer,
a surveyor or a doctor you must go through months or years of
training, spend lots of money and take difficult tests to get your
certification. Even for a driver’s license teenagers have to get a
Learner’s Permit and practice for months before they can
get a real license. For marriage you just have to spend a few
dollars, go through a 15-minute ceremony, say ‘I do’ and you are
married! Genesis 2:24 says, “For this reason a man will leave his
father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become
one flesh.” The reason it is so strange is that when this appeared
in the Bible, there were no mothers and fathers, only Adam and
Eve! God set a high priority on marriage when He pulled it up from
history and put it in with the creation process.
If you have influence with someone who is
getting married please encourage them to seek premarital counseling
from a Minister or other professional. Encourage them to view their
Marriage License as a Learner’s Permit. They need to
understand that putting two imperfect people, male and female,
together with the goal of being married forever will require a lot
of WORK and a lot of learning! An understanding of
the true dimension of LOVE is crucial. The Bible says in John 13:34
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so
you must love one another.” In Matthew 20:28 it tells what the
ACTION of love is, “..just as the Son of Man did not come to be
served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
So, the first task in a marriage is to SERVE one’s mate; to
give your life for them if necessary. That’s a pretty tall
order! That level of commitment requires some serious soul-searching
before saying ‘I Do.’ To serve someone else we have to
overcome the biggest barrier to marital success, our own selfishness
so we can communicate on a deep level and build true emotional,
mental and physical intimacy in marriage. Intimacy is the
thing that glues us together forever. Love is a great foundation but
there are times when, humanly speaking, you don’t deserve to be
loved. That’s why it is WORK, the work of learning and growing together, that
makes marriage last forever. You will do a great service to those
you love by helping them get a great start in marriage.
Common Sense Application
1. Since ‘getting married too quickly’ is a
big contributor to divorce, encourage couples to take TIME to get to
know each other…a year would be great.
2. Remind them that a USA Today survey showed
that the divorce rate for couples living together before marriage is
about 90%.
3. Encourage them NOT to get married until
they go through Christian based Pre-Marriage Counseling.
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